My Microwave is watching me.

How did the president know that I talk to myself about him in the kitchen? I knew I was being surveilled when I woke early one morning to find my microwave, refrigerator, and kitchen wall clock discussing the dossier they had built up on my treasonous activity. There was only one thing to do: I put on my aluminum foil helmet and jammies and went back to bed, where deep sleep protects me from Steve Bannon’s penetration of my psyche during my dreams. Now, I can continue my work with the Klingon Empire to overthrow Earth governments in the past (their past, the Klingons, I mean) without interference. Hail the House of Duras!

Seriously folks, is this the state of American government today? These latest allegations from Trump, and the response to criticism of it (especially by Kellyanne Conway), simply indicate to the rest of the world how under-educated the American populace is, when people of this caliber can occupy top level positions within the White House. Do you really want to make America great again? Remove these people from government and never let them hold national political office again.

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